You know, this is my job, working hard in Mir Lands and scare people ‘till they need to change their underwear, not like those Monsters & Co geeks. I have to work and collect money for my wife and for my 30 sons out on Oma lands. I know you think I am bad, I am evil, and every time you just THINK this, my soul is bleeding, my heart is crying and my bones are shaking. You know, guys out there, you think I am a killer, a beast, a menace to your own destiny. THESE ARE LIES, I‘m crying telling you those things and I am blurred in tears, but I have to explain, I have a present for you all.
It comes out from the ancient Oma times, when I was an Oma kid and I was playing with Oma Lego and Oma Puppies and my mother was teaching me for hard times when I would have become an Oma King without Kingdom and without respect of the people. Oh, how right she was.
She was teaching me how to survive, she was teaching me the respect of other flesh, and she was teaching me I had to survive as a vegetarian because eating flesh is bad. Omas can do this only for work, nothing personal.
She told me the legend of the Oma Cake.
You can try this at home, it is safe and you‘ll discover that I am a good guy, maybe strange, maybe a little bit stressed, but really pure at heart.
Take an aubergine, some courgettes, some potatoes, carrots, spinaches and cook them on steam.
You have to chop in little pieces aubergines, courgettes, potatoes, carrots, spinaches, cheddar, beans.
You have to put them in a pan: one layer of American bread, some tomato sauce (NOT THAT DAMN KETCHUP!), a little bit of paprika, a layer of vegetables.
Repeat this operation until your vegetables lasts or the pan is full.
On top, please spread some sesame seeds.
Put the pan in the oven for about 10/20 minutes depending on when the pan goes on fire (take it away before this happens or people will start shouting at me again saying that I was doing this only to set your homes on fire).
Serve with happiness.

The same happiness I‘d like to feel when I am going around in the Land Of Mir, the same happiness my work steal away a long time ago, the same happiness of the coming Christmas, the same happiness of a lottery winner, the same happiness....
...the happiness of someone telling you that it is not easy be an Oma.
My heart is now quiet, thank you very much for listening."

Sorry guys, got to go now,
your beloved auntie is going to buy another door for the tavern.
Damn Oma King…